Slip Slidin' Away
With each passing moment I can feel her floating deeper into some form affect-lessness. I said I was angry because she claims there's a problem and the only explanation she can muster is the only evasive action you know how to give to a teacher when you're in Primary 1.
But I think I'm angry because I know I'm staring deep into the face of desertion with my hands tied like a dead man walking. I think I'm angry because I lulled myself into some sense of tranquility when the fact was that she really was still stuck in her self-induced state of limbo. It's not like I didn't see it coming. I described this predicted scenario to her before she signed the deal with the devil. And here we are.
Yesterday was 730 days and nights. Everyday without a skip of a beat...well nearly. There were pockets of time when our disagreements would escalate to such intensity that we would crawl into our own holes to try and imagine what it would be like without each other. They never lasted long.
This time, this feels like desertion. Desertion from everything a world that took 700 days to build and a month to deconstruct.
No. On second thought, maybe it was always deconstruction. A month's extraordinary love to build and 700 painful days to break.
She always said she wanted it to be like the start.
Today is Day 731. Somehow, in an almost completely twisted sense of humour, I'm thinking of Heart of Greed.
In this moment of awfulness, I just feel like reaching out for the most puerile string of words to say, even if it sets me back a good seven years of growing up.
Fuck the world. Fuck my world.
But I think I'm angry because I know I'm staring deep into the face of desertion with my hands tied like a dead man walking. I think I'm angry because I lulled myself into some sense of tranquility when the fact was that she really was still stuck in her self-induced state of limbo. It's not like I didn't see it coming. I described this predicted scenario to her before she signed the deal with the devil. And here we are.
Yesterday was 730 days and nights. Everyday without a skip of a beat...well nearly. There were pockets of time when our disagreements would escalate to such intensity that we would crawl into our own holes to try and imagine what it would be like without each other. They never lasted long.
This time, this feels like desertion. Desertion from everything a world that took 700 days to build and a month to deconstruct.
No. On second thought, maybe it was always deconstruction. A month's extraordinary love to build and 700 painful days to break.
She always said she wanted it to be like the start.
Today is Day 731. Somehow, in an almost completely twisted sense of humour, I'm thinking of Heart of Greed.
In this moment of awfulness, I just feel like reaching out for the most puerile string of words to say, even if it sets me back a good seven years of growing up.
Fuck the world. Fuck my world.
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